John McCain: The Next White Candidate?

WASHINGTON, D.C. - John McCain has seen a recent bump in the polls and his Vice-President pick seems to be accepted by most of Middle America, but this could be his biggest problem. A recent poll shows that John McCain is still pulling most of his votes from predominantly white demographics, causing some concern in his campaign. A recent Gallup poll reveals disconcerting trends - 73% of those supporting John McCain identify themselves as white, causing some to wonder if McCain will just be another "white" candidate, successful at drawing in the "white" vote and nothing else.

"The truth of the matter is, McCain is becoming another fringe candidate, like Al Sharpton, except for the whites," says Kevin Worzenstein, political science dean of Northwestern Minnesota University. "People are starting to wonder if McCain has what it takes to be a real mainstream candidate, to capture the votes that represent the rest of America, the real America. Al Gore garnered a lot of the white vote. George H.W. Bush also got a lot of the white vote while running for re-election. But none of them became president, did they?"

Along with the preferred presidential candidate, additional questions revealed even more disturbing trends: 68% of white people voted for candidates of their own race, almost 15 to 34 points higher than other racial groups, such as Blacks, Asians and Latinos.

"I'm tired of white people voting for white candidates just because they're white," Mark Kelly, semi-famous blogger from Washington State, was reported saying in response to the news. "They never look into the candidates' positions or platforms. They just vote for him because he's the same race as them in hopes that they can consolidate power or help their own kind progress or something like that. It just ain't right. This race culture where you just vote for someone because he has the same color skin or the same gender is just ridiculous, and no doubt perpetuated by the failed Bush Administration. I unequivocally declare that the white population of America is being plain racist by only voting for someone because he's white, and they need to learn that we don't live in 1960 any longer."

But the McCain campaign is accusing groups of twisting this information around for political purposes: "This simply shows that McCain is a respected figure of his own race and community, and that many white people support his policies. But to say that the only reason white people are voting for McCain is because he's white as well is absurd. Rest assured, McCain is a viable candidate, not another candidate who only gains support from a small slice of the American pie."

The Obama campaign had no comment, though the campaign spokesperson was said to have laughed so hard that milk squirted out of his nose when he heard about the new poll during lunch.