After the project I was working for finished up at the end of spring term, I found myself unemployed, with only a week before I left on vacation. Someone asked Dantzel at work during this dead time, asking, "What does your boyfriend do?"
"Well," she replied, "Um...nothing at the moment, really."
As much as we complain about work and school, they dictate a lot of the persona we become. Student or employee, we adopt the school or company as a part of us, either willing or begrudgingly. Without either, much of my personality has been stripped away, reducing me to one who posesses very little to claim. Foolishly, I have burned much of this free time living a life of fun and ease, but ultimately devoid of any excitement or substance.
It's quite the opposite now. I have a steady job and have been paying my bills, feeding myself and buying nice things. For the first time in my life, I am asserting some form of financial responsibility and control (mostly thanks to my accountant fiance). I keep myself fairly busy with school and work. I feel I'm a fairly productive person at the moment.
Which I then fall into a completely different rut. How do you work what is generally a mind numbling white collar job and bury yourself in school and still retain a sense of personal progress and adventure? What do you do when you want a little bit more of a "creative" productive, and not just a "drone for the ant colony" productive? This is the new challenge I face as I take an accounting of what I've done thus far.
The Intrepid Explorer label (7/10):
This is the one label that I've performed the strongest in, mostly because the weather was warm and Dantzel and I enjoyed walking the streets and exploring the various venues in downtown Provo. However, with the descent of winter, our walking days have been for the most part restricted. I used to love winter. I now absolutely abhor it.
Still, we've managed to do some exploring since last November, when I made my first assessment. Dantzel and I have gone to India Palace, as well as discovered one of our favorite restaurants in Utah, Olio's in Salt Lake City. We've gone to a New Play Project performance since then as well, and Dantzel and I did explore Seattle over winter break, which involved activities like riding on the ferry at night.
Which leads to our current exploration into thus far uncharted territory in our eyes - marriage. Most of our time and thoughts are consumed by the prospect of the looming wedding this spring. Thus, for the long, dark, winter months, we will be huddled together planning out the wedding. Once the sun breaks out again and thaws the frozen lands, we will be back out on our feet, exploring the various places Provo has to offer.
We have also recently (re)discovered how awesome Costco is and have been buying lots of food and cooking for ourselves and random people when the urges hit. Among other things: bread, various baked sweets, several variations on stuffed jalapenos, a multitude of pasta dishes, some tweaking on tuna melts, curry, Yemenese flat bread and a pesto mozerella tomato pizza. We should probably start experimenting more with Asian cuisine, specifically Korean.
One thing I wish I had been more adventerous in is learning yoga. We still need to go take a class. This I will have to do right away.
I say we're still being fairly adventerous (though some of our friends would disagree).
Member of the Community label (2/10):
Slight improvements have been made. Our FHE group did get together and coordinate a great service project for Thanksgiving. Also, I have made it a point to try and keep up with this current presidential election and feel more informed about global and national events than ever before.
Unfortunately, when it comes to the democracy that does matter - local, community democracy - I have failed utterly. I have yet to visit a town meeting and I am not as involved as I wish.
Service-wise, I'm still just as bad. I haven't taken the time out of my life yet to set up something substantially consistant as far as service goes. I need to get on the ball with that. This is probably the area in my life that requires the most adjustment and also the area of my life I wish had the most improvement.
Starving, Penniless Writer label (0/10):
Writing is only one facet of the more creative side of me, so I'm updating this label to something a bit more accurate and encompassing.
Folksy Artist label (0/10):
Writing...right. I do have two plays that I'm sitting on, as well as an article that I need to polish up and submit to various people around the community. I never got around to finishing the Rising Stars of Manga entry, mostly because I lack the necessary tools. Their submission requirements are very specific, and I felt I didn't have the right knowledge nor materials to do it correctly. I, however, whave finished writing up the story, and will be drawing it out and sending it in the next chance I get.
Also, when I got to my home in Seattle, I dug out all of my old sketchbooks and have brought them to Provo with me. Terrible drawings and for the most part, terrible writing. But there is still a lot of material there I could use in starting a web comic very soon. The biggest thing I need to do is commit to sit down and just start drawing. Time, however, seems hard to find when I'm going to school and working at the same time, but if I really wanted to do it, I could.
Most of the things on my to buy list are artsy things - namely, a tablet, Adobe Creative Suite for web design, a new digital camera. I want to start taking more pictures, but my camera is currently incredibly sub-par. Photography is something I really want to dabble in.
I give myself a harsh 0/10 despite having written quite a bit, mostly because I never did anything with it. I haven't submitted anything yet or self-published anything yet as well, simply because I am lazy and scared. This is unacceptable. Until I produce a finished product, I don't forsee this score increasing, for my sake.
Educated Reader label (5/10):
I did manage to finish several books since November. Notably, I wrote a review for The Geographer's Library and The Audacity of Hope on this blog. I've also read most of Silent Spring by Rachel Carson. That's not too bad - a book a month. I've also read several essays and plenty of news articles.
I hope to make reading more of a priority for me as a hobby, and try to keep up the pace of a book a month during the busy school semester. While not so much reading, other mediums of storytelling I have endulged in: The Office seasons two through three, Haibane Renmei and quite a bit of Avatar: The Last Airbender - all classics, to be sure.
Local Independent Musician Supporter (2/10):
Well, the Provo music scene is mostly dominated by the watered down mainstream punk rock genre or acoustic guitar, I've discovered. I perfer the latter over the former immensely. However, I've had little opportunity to actually do anything about this label. The closest thing I've done is gone to Acoustic Night that our ward put on and watched my sister make every guy in the ward fall in love with her by playing the guitar in front of everyone. The truth of the matter is, except for rare exceptions that come and go, I don't know if I really want to support the local Provo music scene.
And so, I'm going to erase this label and come up with this:
Independent Musician Label (6/10):
I have picked up musical instruments more often myself. I've bought a harmonica that I practice whenever nobody is around, since many consider it an annoying instrument. I used to be able to play quite a few hymns on my mission. I've also picked up the guitar and actually strummed some songs this past couple of weeks. Nothing serious, but it's better than letting it collect dust the whole last semester.
It is intimidating when you live in an apartment where your roommates are much better than you. But I suppose I should swallow my fears and pride and strum out my horrible tunes in hopes of improving.
All in all, we're doing good in this catagory, but we also always want to do better.
Total Score: 20/40
Not bad! A readjustment of goals, but for the better, I think. Definite future goals includes from the following catagories:
Intrepid Explorer: Get married, I suppose. I really ought to blog more on the wedding process. This I plan on doing more often. Also, blogging more about cooking, with pictures (this correlates with one of my goals for the Folksy Artist label as well). Take a yoga class.
Member of the Community: Definitely get out to a town meeting, and volunteer more often.
Folksy Artist: Submit and get published! Also, try to set up a web comic and write more regularily and often. Buy a digital camera and take lots of pictures.
Educated Reader: Try to maintain at least a book a month, and try to surpass that regularily.
Independent Musician: Practice the guitar and harmonica on a daily basis.
All in all, not a bad three months. It could have been better, but it was a lot more successful than I expected. Change is a hard thing, and something I've been struggling with for quite some time. I still retain a lot of old habits from my yesterdays - most prominantly, my occasional late night writing binges. As much as I fight it, my night owl aspect is hard to suppress, much to my morning person fiance's chagrin. What is appropriate to change, and what is a losing battle of which I should just accept who I am? That is the difficult question that needs answering. Hopefully somewhere during this lifetime.
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