In which I extoll the virtues of YouTube (and Seattle)

Normally, I don't waste too much time on YouTube. There's two reasons for this. The main reason is because the internet at my apartment complex is wicked slow, and the second reason is because I rarely have the capacity to watch innane movies for long before growing bored and moving on to something else.

However, some movies have come to my attention from a variety of sources of which I felt would be a travesty not to share.



Chacarron Macarron is quite possibly one of the worst rap songs in the world. In a good way. Normally, I hate rap with a seething passion. But this one is just so hilarious that you can't help but love it. At first glance, it may seem normal. You've got your standard scantily clad dancers in the background and some guy somewhat blinged out in the foreground. But then he opens his mouth. I mean, it's like he's not even trying anymore. And yet, in 2006, it did hit #20 on the top charts in London and even ended up in Now That's What I Call Music! Vol. 65 CD compilation (I wish I was lying about that, but I'm not) [citation needed].



My obsession on Katamari Damacy borders on dangerously religious. Had I lived in the times of Moses as he scaled Mount Sinai to receive words of Jehovah, I would have suggested not a golden calf, but a giant golden effigy of the King of the Universe, and if there be not enough gold for that, at the very least a Katamari (or diminuitive Prince) to worship. So when this commercial came out, I almost died. I would use Travelers Insurance merely because they acknowledged the existence of a katamari.



Apparently, other Koreans feel the same way I do about Katamaris, especially the Korean girl on this commercial, who seems to be in the throes of ecstasy as she exclaims in a breathy, dreamy sigh, "It got bigger!" (in Korean). I'm sure Troy would have plenty of fun with that innuendo.



And speaking of strange commercials, Toyota, continuing their "our truck can withstand the most bizarre events" line of advertising, teamed up with Blizzard to base their new commercial in the highly popular online game World of Warcraft. For a split second, I almost went for Halloween as the Lawgiver. I'm not really sure what that would have entailed - I'd probably show up to work with a Cheeto stained t-shirt I got for free at an anime convention with a pair of jeans that hasn't been washed for weeks, a Bawls perched in one hand and a wireless microphone/headset adorning my head like a crown.



My friends back in Washington have apparently forged an unholy alliance of which they call themselves "Arch Studios." Shrouded in mystery and cultish activity, they busily make movies year round for various contests and festivals. This one (called Signs Point to Yes) is still one of my favorite movies they've ever made, a heart warming and endearing story of a young man who is pretty much certifiably psychotic.



Another movie from Arch Studios, this one they made is called Get a Life, of which has very much Napoleon Dynamite-esque quotable material. Fact: they actually know how to play Dungeons and Dragons. Fact number two: There is no such thing as an orb of necromancy, though it certainly sounds pretty impressive.



Speaking of Dungeons and Dragons, if you can manage to write a love song that somehow involves the words or phrases d20, beholder, saving throw, will save and alignment (correctly), you just may be this girl who not only can play the guitar (and write a very catchy tune), but can lament about romance and affection in a musical manner while, no doubt, simultaneously causing a multitude of nerds world-wide to pass out from lust.



Next is a string of clips by The Senate, the greatest live band I've ever heard (and will ever hear in this mortal existence). Here, they are playing at Folklife (one of my favoritest festivals in the whole wide world and every indie band lover's fantasy) the "Awesome Song," which is full of, well, Awesome. There are several points in the song where they play a guitar riff and, coaching the audience beforehand, have everyone within hearing vicinity violently thrust their fingers into the air and yell, "Show me how awesome you can be!" You might imagine that it would be difficult to get a crowd of jaded, highly educated and liberal Seattlites to act like fools in public with aforementioned finger thrusting and yelling. Not so here. They have, like, 22 CHA. Or maybe the suggestion spell, like a bard. No joke.



Here's a continuation of the Awesome Song with one of its more fun parts of the song, though comparing "more fun" parts of the song to just "fun" parts of the song is like comparing one trillion dollars to two trillion dollars. Sure, there's a difference, but at that point, there really isn't a point in comparision anymore, as it's just obscene amounts of fun. Nick Drummond's crooning at the end is of course, typical of The Senate, and one of Jean's favorite aspects about them (being exposed to this kind of crooning often causes her to babble incoherently about it for weeks on end).



Another Senate clip singing a song called "I Told You So," a cute little love song. Seriously, if I was gay, I would have the biggest crush on The Senate. Luckily, I harbor no such perverse sexual lust, and Dantzel, while a huge fan of their music, isn't attracted to them in the slightest. Our relationship has not been derailed thus far from this trio of which their name is praised all over UW campus. However, had Nick Drummond asked my sister Jean to drop everything in her life and run off with him, she would do so close to the speed of light, thus breaking the postulate that nothing can travel at such a speed. CERN ought to try it out sometime.



Last Senate clip, I promise. This is quite possibly the epitome of The Senate. I have always been a fan of acoustic rock, but had someone told me such face melting acoustic rock like thus was possible, I would have scoffed. The acoustic guitar is for such chill and sensitive souls as Jack Johnson and Death Cab for Cutie, replete with sissy songs of love, girls and various lessons about life that can be thoroughly enjoyed from your MP3 player as you lesuirely sip a ridiculously expensive coffee on a Starbucks patio. If you ever plan a trip to Seattle, I cannot emphasize enough to make sure it coincides with a concert from these guys. These clips hardly do it justice. It is like watching a child trying to explain quantum mechanics or complex Catholic theology. No media medium could possibly bottle and preserve what The Senate possesses, and like any other religion experience, must be experienced in person, and not by second-hand stories and recall. Having acoustic guitar drummed into your ears at ungodly decibels while watching the deft, nimble fingers of the Senate strum out a tune so impressive that it caused a girl's bra to snap open at a concert (no joke; this is a true story) should simply be impossible. And yet, it happens on a regular basis, defying the very laws of the universe that hold it together (could The Senate be a threat to the very fabric of space-time?). This band is Seattle personified - diety-like rock skills with an acoustic, coffee shop flair, incredible blending of voices and harmonization, and (of course) a hint of sexual innuendo.

That's just how awesome Seattle is.