In which I waste time at work

At work, I have been placed in profiling book accounts, which means I do a lot of basic research on books from certain publishers. The certain publisher's account I'm working on seems to publish a lot of terrible books, with these such reviews being the more humorous I've found.

"At the end we see the author camped in a subway station, having been interviewed by the press and awaiting word from his agent on his manuscript. Did his advance get him off the streets? He needs help, and so does this memoir, which provides no introduction or epilogue for content."
- Publishers Weekly, on My Life on the Street: Memoirs of a Homeless Man

"Ludicrously melodramatic writing and the decision to use demon possession as a metaphor for mental illness are the most glaring of this book's many faults."
- Publishers Weekly, on Hush! A Demon Sleeps Beside Me

"The reader sympathizes with Obler's dilemma over confidientiality and professional ethics, but when the patient kidnaps, binds and gags Obler's fiancee - who is rescued by Obler in a feat of derring-do - it seems mind-boggling that the police are not contacted. Instead, in a final confrontation, the patient is persuaded to desist from his violent tendencies and later becomes a successful lawyer. The authors note that the book "was inspired and based on" Obler's experiences and that some chronology, names, locations and even "events" have been "charged or altered." Coupled with a melodramatic approach and soap-opera dialog, this tale is over the top. Not recommended."
- Library Journal, on Fatal Analysis

"I highly recommend this book - as catbox liner...Beau is living proof that obtatining a PhD is neither an indication of intelligence, nor ability."
- Amazon.com customer, on The Newest Explosions of Terrorism: Latest Sites of Terrorism in the 1990s and Beyond

"Too much was glossed over. I cannot tell how unsatisfied I was with this book. If I read the words 'he/she sauntered' one more time, uhg! Apparently people in her world don't just walk."
- Oregon Reader, on Missing: The Oregon City Girls

"Though describing his former self as always gallant and perfectly efficient, Bannon never misses an opportunity to share the moral and emotional torment that comes with his license to kill - nor, for that matter, does he miss a chance to use a cliche or bad pun. If there is any truth to be found in this story, his former collaborators on both sides of the law must be allowing its publication only because they realize how completely implausible it sounds."
- Publishers Weekly, on Race Against Evil: The Secret Missions of the Interpol Agent Who Tracked the World's Most Sinister Criminals