They are totally champions

I went into the sports store Champs at Bellevue Square with my mother yesterday. The store clerks were all dressed in Champs merchandise, which entailed a basketball jersey, shorts and the highest class of Nike sneakers. In short, they look like sixth graders who used to hang out at the basketball courts all day in middle school who never changed their wardrobe and grew three extra feet. They resemble rejects as extras from the movie "You Got Served."

They even act like how they dress. Normally, retail workers are trained to be curteous, smile all the time and be friendly. It's hard to buddy up to the clerk that's helping you, though, when he's 300 lbs., 6 feet tall, scowling at you like he's going to take your lunch money and has a giant tatoo of the Virgin Mary on his right bicep. When my mother asked for a pair of shoes in size nine, he took the shoe with one meaty hand, looked at it, and, I'm not making this up, actually grunted and shuffled to the backroom.

I wonder if acting like a neandrethal with the mentality of a high school senior is part of the job description.